Transient Liberté – A Poem about Graduation and Ramadan

Transient Liberté

A. A. Kamalov

Anticipated anticlimax

Arrived, an ambience

Of little malevolence.

Praise be to Allah,

 

Whose spring blossoms

Has fallen on tearful,

Sinful servants, prayerful

Under blessed moon phases –

 

Chanting sacred sutras

Of transient existence.

A pièce de résistance,

A hop, step and splash

 

Of personal pride’s

Unwarranted, poor thing!

You – a weeping weakling,

Succumb too easily to the succubus.

 

So rejoin the path, abscond the past,

An elaborate awakening of future’s been cast.

Author’s Afterword:

This poem is the first one I wrote since completing my exams,which simultaneously meant the start on the road to freedom from school and entering adult life in the real world. I wanted to write something to express this, but to remind myself of who to thank for my success. As a Muslim, I believe that Allah (God) deserves most if not all the credit for allowing me to persevere through the hard times, and my poems have reflected my belief in this regard. The reference to prayer or “sutras” in this poem is also a reference to the month of Ramadan, which is going to begin in less than 2 weeks. This month is considered to be a highly auspicious period where deeds are rewarded in multiple digits. I realised that even though leaving school signifies “freedom” from education, there are still limitations in place with Ramadan, with daytime fasting being the primary activity.

I also consider myself to be a sinful person in need of cleansing, which is what Ramadan is all about. I want to improve myself not only academically or socially, but spiritually and mentally as well, because this will reinforce a more positive outlook in life (at least, for me). I am looking forward to this blessed season, and I wish to all Muslims Ramadan Kareem!

Damn Ahmad, Back At it Again With the Procrastination!

Forgive my attempt at referencing a totally over-used internet meme, but I’m in a rather pleasant mood right now and it has to do with the fact that I have completed my final exams! And I graduated from school, so I have the holidays to look forward to! Yay!

But yeah, I know I am probably one of the most inconsistent bloggers out there compared to those with supernatural skills in time management (or simply a lot of free time on their hands). I procrastinate a lot, I admit it, but who doesn’t right? From my personal experience, it’s a perennial teenage characteristic. I’m not saying I’m proud of it, but I’m not going to make promises I can’t keep. This blog will keep going indefinitely, and I will keep posting new poems, photos, travel journals and other random things in my life.

I would also love to rename my blog in the future, but still could not find a suitable name for it. I’m not going to stay a teenager forever. If you have any suggestions, you can drop it in the comments section below.

Today or tomorrow I’m going to drop in a few posts of some of the poems I have not yet shown to you guys, and I’m planning to write a top 5 anime review article for a change. I’ve been watching quite a lot of new ones recently and I feel that I need to take this blog into a fresher direction. I also want to spend quite a bit of time editing my old blog posts, updating and tidying everything up.

To everyone who’s been watching this blog, thank you for your continued support!

Leap Day Update

It’s the 29th!

I would not want to miss the chance of posting something on one of the rarer days of the Gregorian calendar. I’d just like to use this opportunity just to tell all of you about how things have been going for me for the past month.

Coming to terms with the IB

This week is actually the week of my mock exams, the last formal assessment for all of my subjects in the IB Diploma before the final exams which will determine my grades. For those who don’t know, the International Baccalaureate Diploma is a rigorous two-year pre-university programme, with a higher level of difficulty above Britain’s A-Levels and USA’s Advanced Placement due to demands for CAS (Creativity, Action and Service) and Theory of Knowledge on top of 6 choice of subjects. For the past few months, I have become rather disillusioned with the programme for it’s workload and  inability to keep up with my high-grade expectations. This made me feel a strong sense of sadness and even regret to some extent, because I know I could have excelled more easily in A-Levels without the same level of stress and mental breakdown.

Nevertheless this year, I have come to terms with the IB. Although I still think that the IB is unnecessarily complicated and the organisation aims to crush the hopes of students who were fated to take its exams, I realise that the IB was designed this way to set students with a higher intellectual capability apart from everyone else. It was deliberately done this way to create a more competitive playing field for the “elite” of upper-secondary academia,  who would otherwise be doing excellently in A-Levels and other less-demanding courses. I realised that I’m rather fortunate in IB because I am basically 6 first-year university-level courses in subjects I would otherwise have not done if I specialised early in A-Levels. If it were not for IB, I would never have encountered economics as a subject and probably would never consider about doing it as a degree in university. Similarly, I would never have encountered Sylvia Plath and other great works of literature if I had not taken IB, and thus would never have had an interest in poetry. Most importantly I would never had a chance to meet people in my year-group, who are definitely one of the most amazing people I have ever met! Looking back at my choice, I have to admit that despite all the hardship and trouble, the grade and points don’t matter anymore. It’s the experience and the memories I make along the way.

University Worries Are Gone!

Long gone the days of when I stress over the prospects of going to the university I desire. Due to the economic situation of Malaysia beyond my family’s control, any immediate prospect of studying in Europe has been reduced to less than 1% probability. On the bright side, I HAVE been given conditional offers by all five of my university choices in England and Scotland, and yesterday the University of Nottingham had offered me a place conditionally to study in their Malaysian campus. All I need to do now is wait and see if I get any scholarships that could take me into the UK universities, but if not, I will have to go to Nottingham in Malaysia for my undergraduate studies.

The prospect of studiying in Malaysia was surprisingly difficult for me to accept at first, because I really wanted to study abroad and live outside of Malaysia for as long as possible. However, at least that I will be able to meet up with a lot of my old friends who mostly lives in Malaysia. Nottingham Malaysia is also a very good university by world standards, even though the architecture is painfully boring (my biggest pet peeve when I visited there). They have a wide range of club activities which I look forward in joining, plus opportunities for me to continue learning foreign languages. In-Sha-Allah, I fly to Malaysia as soon as I graduate to prepare myself for the university early and meet my friends there.

Poetry

I am currently on hiatus with my poetry writing, and I have not written anything new since January. There is a very good reason for this: I would like to study more variations of poetry first before writing any new ones of my own. I want to be a dynamic writer with the ability to express ideas with using various methods and styles that are known in the world of literature. I also want to diversify the genre of my poetry style from being just dark and depressing to something which expresses all types of emotions, including joy and love. Currently I am reading a book of poetry titled “Leaves of Grass”, by the father of free-verse poetry Walt Whitman. It’s a wonderful read filled with deep meanings, composed of 12 long poems in one small book. A good friend of mine gave it to me as a birthday present. I hope reading this will give me further inspiration on writing new poetry for the near future.

Language Learning: Japanese, Russian or German?

I have come to a point where I have to make an important decision on which language I should prioritise. Currently, I am switching back and forth, juggling the three languages listed above plus Dutch and French, which isn’t particularly useful considering that it makes me forget more often than remember. Upon entering university, I would like to be able to focus only on learning one single language on an intensive basis, but it has to be one which is easy for me to take lessons and practice with other native speakers.

I also have to keep in mind that since my uni is most likely to be Nottingham Malaysia, I would have easier access to Asian language resources than resources to learn Russian or German. The abundance and popularity of anime, manga and Japanese pop culture in general further inceases the availability of tools for me to use to study it. Personally, I have been watching a lot of anime these past few weeks, so my motivation to learn Japanese is significantly greater than any of the other languages. I am also using Duolingo’s English-language learning platform made for Japanese speakers as a roundabout way of picking up the nuances of Japanese grammar, and it is actually really effective. I’ve learned more Japanese than ever before, so I would really like to continue at this rate.

Again – A Poem

I don’t think I need much of an explanation for this poem. I’m feeling under a lot of pressure by everyone and I feel like I am slowly losing it, bit by bit. It’s something I can’t exactly understand myself, but I am trying to and so is everyone else. Then again, what does it matter to them? They can live on as usual no matter what state I’m in. Anyways, it will be more comforting if you can give your critique or opinion of this poem in the comments section below.

Again

A. A. Kamalov

Here I am once more.

Entrenched in the

Abyss, mournful Marianas,

Ocean of despicable despair.

 

The perpetual vortex

A trumpet, a devil’s horn

Pulling me in, rotten sins

Chaining and choking

 

Almost a delight!

Multiple moons pass by

Burden after burden –

Compounding exponentially

 

Like interest. The loan of joy

For a ferry to Paradise

Is futile: take one for suffering

Instead. You’d go much farther.

 

The quill is mocking me now,

Squid’s ink dissolving intestines

While coral fishes swim by

With benign indifference.

It’s Time to Play Catch-Up Once More

Kbrs
A green field in the Cypriot countryside

Good day and welcome back to my humble blog.

Yes, I have realised that today is the 31st of March. This is the first and last post for this month. For the sake of not letting one whole month fly by without a post, I decided to make sure to have something typed up and served for this month and to explain a little about my disappearance.

As I have mentioned in my previous post in February, I am a busy man. I have many commitments in school and life here and I can’t afford to forgo these commitments for the sake of this blog. I have set my priorities, and my blog isn’t something that will directly determine my future, such as whether I will be entering the university of my choice, or whether I’ll be getting better grades. From now on, if my life here has become just too busy, you will have to look forward to at least one post for that month. Any less than that would mean something very unusual has happened to me, such as a serious illness, a prolonged breakdown of all internet services in Egypt, etc.

I am pleased to announce that I could now add a new country to the list of countries I have visited over in my lifetime: CYPRUS! Yes, I have mentioned this in my previous post, and I have so much to tell you all about how this trip went. It was a significant achievement in my life, because it was also the first time I have ever undertaken a school trip which involved travelling abroad. I have photos, a video and even made a special song to memorialise the whole experience for the trip, which hopefully, In-Sha-Allah, will be shown in a special post in the coming days.

In addition to that, before the week of the Cyprus trip, my whole family went to Antalya, Turkey for a short but amazing holiday. There I took far more photos than in Cyprus (I wasn’t able to use my phone in Cyprus to take photos as much). I will also explain the whole trip in another upcoming post which I will post in a few days.

I have to work much harder to catch up with all the time I had been away. Yes, the two travel events made it tough to update anything but the school that came after the holiday and trips is worse. Here is a list of all the things I must complete by the end of April which should be in my blog:

Please, please, please, I really need encouragement from you all as readers because, frankly speaking, you’re the fuel for my motivation. I want to continue writing but I need reminders and pestering from you guys so that I could meet my goals in blogging. If you notice that I am not keeping up to my promises and plans, please comment, personal message, give a shoutout through social media, whatever, I don’t mind. I will be fully appreactive of any response I get from those who come by here.

Starting the end of this week spring break will start at my school, so I will of course devote as much free time as possible with making updates on my blog and to the other blog in Blogger, which I have not given enough attention to. In addition, I will try to be more active among the WordPress community by reading more other people’s blogs, blogs of people I subscribe to, liking blogs, reblogging, updating any outdated info and other sort of things bloggers are supposed to do. Until then, I have to focus on the last few days of Arbeit which I can’t avoid. Thank you for reading!